Saturday, October 6, 2007

Rumor: Carney Admits Navy Won Game

Colorado Springs, CO (WTF). AF Quarterback Shaun Carney has never been one to admit defeat. When he was a child and lost at Monopoly he would flip the board in a rage. As he got older, the Air Force quarterback's attitude hardened. Despite losing five years in a row to Navy, Carney and his teammates were certain that they were the better team despite the blindingly obvious trend...until now.

Sources inside the Air Force Falcons locker room say that they overheard Cadet Carney say to another player "Navy beat us this year." Apparently, the entire locker room overheard the blasphemous comment and jumped on Carney.

"If Fisher (DeBerry) would have heard that comment, Shaun would be off the team and/or scrubbing the sh*tters for days!" said an assistant coach. "We all know that this program has never lost a game to Navy or Army and that's the way we like it."

Air Force officials also quickly jumped to Carney's side saying that it "was a moment of weakness" and that nothing should be drawn from it to indicate Navy has won any games. Air Force players also showed a united front.

“We realized Navy didn’t really beat us, and that was huge for us to realize,” senior cornerback Carson Bird said. “They really didn’t beat us. We beat ourselves.”

In response, Navy Coach Paul Johnson is thinking of a new strategy for next year's game. "According to Air Force, they've beat themselves 5 years in a row. We're thinking of not showing for the game next year so they can beat themselves again. Hey, we'll take the win and it will give us more time to prepare for our next game."

1 comment:

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